I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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