Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize