I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
