operation have a gay friend backfired
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize