He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
