Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
send nudes
from the living room?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
