Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So many bounce houses so little time
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
