I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
