made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
