why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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