somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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