a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Are my feet made of real feet?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
