He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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