Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
