whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You can't just leave with hair like that
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
