We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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