My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
