I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i drank out of a bidet.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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