I am in a vortex of obligation.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
