called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
