guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
