Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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