I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I need to align my fucking chakras
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
