why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
