hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
