he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
