do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you will always have a special place in my vag
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
