He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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