But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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