sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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