All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
