How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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