So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
