i just google imaged poop.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
