And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
