weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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