with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
