he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
