she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
