Don't make out with my wife yet
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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