called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
This beer is not sobering me up at all
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
