She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
