help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
