no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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