My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
