A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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