Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
