new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
