I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We're too hungover to prance.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
