Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
