We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
