Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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