Betty ford says i'm here all night
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
