you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
