would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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