Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
