THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Randomize
