My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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