I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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