You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
