I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
