i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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