kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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