I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
